They’re gonna judge you anyway…

I know it, you know it… we all bloody know it…No matter what the hell you do, someone’s going to have something to say about it.

You wear some cool runway-worthy outfit? “Too much.”

Start taking care of yourself? “She’s so boring.”

Start the business, quit the job, stay single, get married, dye your hair green, move to Bali?

It doesn’t matter what it is. Someone will have a fucking opinion.

So here’s the real question... are you living for them or you?

Because here’s what happens when you keep living to avoid judgment:
You end up molding yourself into a version of you that feels “acceptable.” Palatable. Safe.

You water yourself down to make other people comfortable... and then wonder why you feel stuck, bored, and disconnected.

And we don’t do that here.

So let’s flip it. Let’s get real, and let’s find some freedom.

You don’t need permission to take up space, to be seen, to do the thing that lights your soul on fire.

But if you’re looking for a nudge? This is it.

1. No-BS shortcut to freedom

Maybe you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t heard of this one but here’s the deal…the “Let Them” theory? Total game-changer.

If someone doubts your dream? Let them.
If they think you’re reckless or unrealistic? Let them.
If they talk shit behind your back? LET 👏 THEM 👏

Most people waste so much energy trying to explain themselves to people who don’t even get it. And have no desire to get it. And therefore… will probably NEVER get it.

But you? You’re smarter than that. And we don’t have time for bullshit.

So we are just going to let them doubt, gossip, and keep their small thinking. Their judgment is not your responsibility. Their opinions are not your responsibility. The consequences of their actions are also not really your responsibility.

People are gonna do whatever the hell they want. Let them.

Your job? Be yourself. Go after what you want. And use what people show you about themselves to decide with intention who gets access to your energy, your time, your support…you get to make smart, self-respecting choices about what you share.

Constantly chasing approval makes us anxious… But our self-trust (and therefore confidence) increases when you stop giving a damn what they think and when you start choosing yourself. Which I know, is OBVIOUSLY easier said than done. But here’s the key thing to remember…
Stop fighting for validation. Start fighting for your freedom.

Your time is limited and it’s a precious fucking resource. Don’t just willy-nilly give that shit out to anyone.

Let them be loud and carry on like muppets. While you be intentional.

2. Judgment is a mirror, not a truth

Let’s break down where judgment really comes from…because spoiler alert: it’s usually not about you.

When someone criticizes your choices or tries to dim your light or keep you small, it’s usually rooted in their own unhealed stuff.

Maybe they’re projecting their insecurities….because deep down, they’d never have the guts to take the risk you’re taking. Maybe they crave control, and watching you step outside the mold threatens the version of you they feel safest with. Or maybe your growth is triggering…because it forces them to confront the fact that they’ve been standing still.

People’s opinions of you? Most of the time, they’re just a reflection of their fears.

▪️ Judging your boldness? That’s their own fear of failure talking.

▪️Calling your dreams “too much”? That’s their inner critic showing up, loud and scared.

▪️ Getting weird around your growth? They’re scared you’ll outgrow them…and prove what they’re not ready to face: that staying stuck was a choice.

That’s on them. Not on you.

So the next time someone’s opinions are flying around… pause and ask yourself:
Is there actually truth in this?

If there is, amazing…you just got some valuable data to work with.

But if there’s not? See it for what it is: their insecurities talking, not the truth.

Then you get to choose how to move forward.

Understanding this doesn’t mean you let it slide or pretend it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you excuse the behavior. It means you stop internalizing it. You stop making their fear your problem. Their discomfort is a mirror of their limitations…not a measurement of your worth.

Confident women don’t absorb opinions…they analyze them.

The more you recognize that, the less power their judgment has over your energy, your choices, and your damn life.

3. External validation will keep you stuck

Approval is so fleeting. One moment you’re inspiring and someone is proud of you and thinks you’re nailing life, the next someone’s side-eyeing your choices and thinks you’re nuts.

If you’re constantly chasing validation, you will always feel stuck….because even when you get it, someone else will disapprove.

It’s a game you can’t win.

So what’s the way out?

Start by defining success on your terms. What actually matters to you…not your mom, not your friends, not the internet?

Validate yourself first.

Make choices that align with your values and desires, not the expectations you’ve been handed. And detach from the outcomes. Do the damn thing because it lights you up, not because you’re waiting for a standing ovation. (Sidenote… if you need help with this check out my workbook)

Because here’s the truth: the people who really stand out in life…the ones who lead, create, and live boldly…are the ones who refuse to shrink themselves for approval. They’re not here to fit in. They’re here to create their own path.

So here’s your permission slip:

Define success YOUR way. Make moves that ignite your soul. Stop performing for applause…and start living for yourself.

The need for validation? It’s a giant trap. And the second you stop needing it... you get your freedom back.

4. Fear of judgment is the real dream killer

Be honest. How many times have you held back, played small, or not spoken up because of that nagging question, "What will people think?"

Fear of judgment is a real thing…

However….that fear, my friend, is a liar.

It tells you that you're not good enough, that you'll be judged, that it's safer to stay comfortable, silent and hidden so that nobody can think badly of you.

But here's the thing: those same people you're so worried about? They'll move on in two seconds. They're too busy with their own lives to give a crap about your choices. And even if they do judge you or have some opinion…In a week they’ll be talking about something or someone else. Which as we now know…is a whole other thing.

What will linger, however, is regret.

A Harvard Business Review study confirms it: our biggest regrets aren't about the things we did, even if they didn't turn out perfectly, but about the chances we didn't take.

So, instead of fearing judgment, fear regret.

Judgment fades… regret lasts. Choose courage and action and going after the life you really want. Don't become a cautionary tale.

5. The ‘So What?’ rule

That little inner critic loves to chime in, doesn't it?

Replaying doubts, painting worst-case scenarios.

But here's a powerful tool: challenge it. Ask yourself, "So what?”

So what if they think I'm too much?

So what if I fail?

So what if they don't get it?

Really, what's the absolute worst that can happen?

And more importantly, what will happen if you don't take the leap? What incredible possibilities might you miss out on?

You can strip doubt and judgment of its power by questioning it… and you'll find it often shrinks to nothing.

Remember, confidence isn't about eliminating fear…it's about realizing fear doesn't have to dictate your life… you can be scared and still go for it anyway.

Final Thought: Live boldly, take up space, and give zero fucks

You'll be judged no matter what you do, so why not be unapologetically you? Go be too much.

Let them talk, let them side-eye, let them project their unhealed crap. Their opinions? Not your problem. Not your purpose. And certainly not your paycheck.

Flip the script…instead of fearing their judgment, dare them to judge. In fact…. challenge them to judge you.

How cringy can you REALLY be? How TOO MUCH can you be? Turn that shit up.

Launch that project, leave that thing, say yes, say no, change your mind… whatever it is…own your choices.

Because at the end of the day, the only opinion that truly matters is your own.

Your Next Move:
What’s one thing you’ve been holding back on because of fear? Say it out loud. Own it….Then go DO it.